Archive for December 5th, 2008

05
Dec
08

Celebrate the end of prohibition tonight at First Friday.

It’s hard to believe that 75 years and one day ago drinking booze purchased secretly and hidden away from prying eyes was not just something teenagers did…

Today marks the 75th anniversary of the repeal of prohibition, this country’s failed experiment with legislating clean living. In many ways we haven’t actually come that far (smoking bans), but in some we have.

So, if you’re in the DC area, come out to First Friday tonight and have a drink for all those who came before us who couldn’t without lining the pockets of Rum Runners like the Kennedy clan.

Little known fact about prohibition, alcohol was still available but only by prescription. Click on the picture for a larger version of the real alcohol prescription sheet from the era. What would the doctor say? “Take two martinis and call me in the morning”?

prohibition_prescription_front

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05
Dec
08

The Juice is loose, but not for long. OJ is facing serious jail time today.

oj_simpson_narrowweb__300x4720It’s ironic that on the 75th anniversary of end of prohibition, the stupidity that created Al Capone and ultimately sent the murderous thug to prison for tax evasion, that OJ Simpson is facing jail time, serious time, for something other than the double murder he committed years ago.

While the Juice is loose, he won’t be for long.

UPDATE: OJ was given between 9 and 33 years. Bye, Juice.

05
Dec
08

Douchbag of the Week – The UAW and the Big 3.

Douchebag of the Week!Considering the fact that our winners this week want to “borrow” billions of dollars of our money (not really our money since Congress has already spent all of that and is living on credit, but whatever) in order to feed the same failing machine that brought them to Washington on bended knee in the first place, and have been seeking this “loan” for some time, this honor for Ford, General Motors, Chrysler and the United Auto Workers union is long overdue.

While supports of the bailout have won in the recent past, this honor is reserved for these four groups thanks to their willingness to part with the little bit of unregulated sovereignty they still have (CAFE standards, etc.) in order to suckle the government teet and drain our future even further. Thank you, no.

In spite of the fact that 61 percent of the American people oppose the bailout (oddly, roughly the number of Americans who actually pay income taxes), Democrats in Congress are inclined to grant them the money. Why not, really? So few Members of Congress give a damn about the fact that Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid are already sure to bankrupt the country in a few short years because, hell, they’ll be dead, or at least out of office (with the possible exception of Robert Byrd, who seems eternal), so what’s a few billion more in the grand scheme of things? Why not blow a bigger hole in the Titanic, the thing is gonna sink anyway.

While the CEOs of the once-great dinosaurs grovel for a taste of our cash (after driving to DC in hybrids since their private jet trip went over like, well, pretty much every model of car they’ve produced recently), the UAW has decided to get “serious” about what they’re willing to “give up” in order to save the jobs of their members, the people that really do the work. They’re willing to allow their failing employers to stop paying people for not working. Yay! Very brave stand on their part. Well done. It won’t make a dime’s worth of difference, but what a brave sacrifice.

Why these people don’t stand up and point the finger of blame where it belongs, their inquisitors (and potential future masters) for imposing crippling regulations on their products, will go down as one of the greatest moments in eunuch history.

Not only for their complete lack of testicular fortitude and mismanagement of former titans of American industry, but for seeking to make us unwillingly invest in their failure, the Big 3 and the UAW are our Douchebags of the Week. It’s time to declare bankruptcy, reorganize and, frankly, get their shit together, or go the way of the dodo.

Just for fun, enjoy the picture below of UAW President Ron Gettelfinger contributing to the discussion.

uaw-gettelfinger

PS – Isn’t if funny how Speaker Pelosi complained about the CEOs flying in private jets? Remember her demand for a private jet, an Air Force plane, so she wouldn’t have to rub elbows with commoners on commercial flights? We would wonder how she could say that with a straight face, but we doubt her face moves much at all…

05
Dec
08

News of the Weird, News of the World, News of…Whatever!

News of the Weird! Since it’s Friday…

In our never ending attempt to bring you the news from around the world that you may have missed, here is another bit of the written version of the famed last segment of our podcasts.

Story #1

The Kennedys would fit in perfectly in Australia.  Seems politicians in their most populous state have been voting drunk, so much so that they may soon have to take a breathalyser in order to vote.  At least they have that to blame for their stupid laws, all we have is stupid politicians.

Story #2

This one if from the “Really?!?!? REALLY?!?!” file.  A couple in Florida got into an argument over God knows what, but it ended with the man being arrested for assault with a hamburger.  It would seem this guy is a double jackass with cheese.  (Horrible pun, we know.)

Story #3

What do you get the person who has everything for Christmas?  Nothing, preferably.  But if you must get them something they may actually not have, how about something from the worst gift list, like the screaming rubber chicken or toilet putting kit?  Who doesn’t want to putt while dropping a deuce?

Story #4

Speaking of dropping a deuce, file this one under pain in the ass lawsuits.  A woman is suing a sports bar in New Jersey and a toilet manufacturer because her ass broke a toilet seat and she was stuck in the toilet itself for 20 minutes.  It took her 20 minutes to get her ass unstuck and 2 years to file suit.  The courts should flush this one, shit happens.

Story #5

Protect your head or the police will shoot you.  Police in Taiwan pulled their guns on a moped rider for not wearing a helmet.  This is the ultimate version of “If you don’t stop crying I’ll give you something to cry about.”

05
Dec
08

Special guest for tonight’s First Friday – Tucker Carlson.

tucker-carlson
Tucker Carlson, former First Friday Podcast guest, is coming to hang out with us tonight for First Friday. Tucker will be at Union Pub at 6:00 for an hour or so (he has plans for later in the evening) to hang out and talk about whatever you want to talk about. So make sure you come and hang out with the man who helped us coin the phrase “Choke Keith Olbermann” while he’s there.

And if you’re wondering what kind of a guy Tucker is before you meet him, take a look at the Dancing with the Stars contestant in the video below. He’s very much the easy going, straight forward, funny guy in the clip.

The drink specials start at 5:30, so come out early and stay late and bring your business cards to enter our Christmas giveaways.

Be there or be talked about.




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