In our never ending attempt to bring you the news from around the world that you may have missed, here is another bit of the written version of the famed last segment of our podcasts.
Italian police have discovered something that will send shivers down the spines of balding, middle aged men everywhere who attempt to compensate for their “short-comings.” They’ve discovered a counterfeit Ferrari. Though, now that they’re making fakes, a lot more balding, middle aged men attempting to compensate for their “short-comings” will be able to afford one.
You know how to tell you aren’t cut out for a life of crime? You try to rob a police station. You know how to tell you’re really not cut out for a life of crime? You try to rob a bar with 50 biker dudes in it. Did this idiot not notice anything odd in the parking lot?
Cindy Sheehan needs to buy a rhyming dictionary! This is a way for all the anti-American hippies out there to earn money for once in their lives. Kyrgyzstan radicals are offering $1,000 to the person who writes the best protesting American troops in the country. We’ll start you off, “Get out of Kyrgyzstan, man! Yes, we can!”
Here’s a tip for would be thieves: if you’re going to steal something, make sure parts of it aren’t sticking out of your clothes. A man in Berlin was arrested while attempting to steal a new suit by stuffing it under his clothes. One problem, however, he forgot to take it off the hanger, which was sticking out. The arresting officer said it best, “Only a sign saying ‘stop me, I’m a thief!’ would have made the thief look more unprofessional.”