Erin Burnett knows what she wants in a man, and for some reason thought it would be a good idea to tell the world.

Dont hate me because I'm beautiful, hate me because I'm a douchebag.CNBC’s Erin Burnett knows what she likes in a man, though it’s not clear she actually likes men as anything more than people who can buy her stuff.

She wrote a piece for Men’s Health magazine entitled “8 Ways to Impress Me.”  Her “8 Ways” aren’t impressive, they’re pretty sad.  They pretty much boil down to “give me stuff and stay away.”

It’s one thing to think this way, there are no doubt many people out there who do, it’s quite another to tell the world. 

Here’s one example:

3. Do Something Special for My Parents
Family is important to me, so round-trip business-class tickets to Australia and New Zealand for my parents would earn you big points in my book.

Mama and Daddy don’t fly coach, especially on her dime!

Or this one:

7. Please My Palate
Hiring a personal chef to prepare meals for the few nights a week I am home would be unforgettable.

What, no masseuse?

2. Buy Me a New Atlas and Globe
You could unlock my heart by allowing me to dream up my next trip. I love to travel, and hope to eventually set foot in 100 countries. I have many more to go.

She does have a job, you know.  You wouldn’t know it from this list of “do these things for me, buy me stuff, then get the hell out of here!  How about buy you some tact or class?

8. Send Me Packing
A man who recognizes the importance of my time with the girls is a keeper. A long weekend spa getaway for my sisters and me would be perfection.

Send you packing?  Yeah, you’re gone. 

There is an absolutely hilarious take on this list here.  Fully recommend you check it out.


6 Responses to “Erin Burnett knows what she wants in a man, and for some reason thought it would be a good idea to tell the world.”

  1. 1 Jennifer
    January 10, 2008 at 3:58 pm

    Why in the world would anyone write something like this about themselves? Who can take her seriously after that? On a first date does she ask to see tax returns?

  2. 2 BJT
    January 10, 2008 at 4:01 pm

    Don’t see her getting too many dates in the near future no matter how pretty she is.

  3. 3 Ed
    January 10, 2008 at 4:02 pm

    As if CNBC didn’t have enough problems. It’s one thing to be a golddigger, it’s another to declare it to the world.

  4. 4 Duke
    January 10, 2008 at 7:28 pm

    Sounds like most of the feminazi’s I know!

  5. 5 Knarf
    August 5, 2008 at 2:46 pm

    Erin my dear, I will do all these things and more for you. All you have to do is pony up the cash or major credit card, and I’ll happily arrange everything.

    And schedule in a reasonable amount of time for hot monkey luvvin. Preferably after your on-air gig, when your morning perfume has faded and you’re a little warm and moist, and in need of a good Erin out.

    Meet me at the door for a cosmopolitan and a foot massage and I shall rock your material little world.

  6. 6 John M
    April 8, 2010 at 11:06 am

    What a muppet!

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