20
Dec
07

News of the Weird, News of the World, News of…Whatever! Christmas edition.

As Christmas approaches we find ourselves knee-deep in odd Christmas stories, so here you go.  Merry Christmas.

News of the Weird!Story #1

Nothing say Christmas Spirit like an old fashioned brawl at your kid’s Christmas pageant.  In their stocking?  A certificate for 3 hots and a cot.

Story #2

We’re pretty sure that shooting Santa out of the sky is the best way to get on the fast track to getting stiffed at Christmas.  We wouldn’t think this would need to be said, but it would seem some Brazilians didn’t get the memo, so they shot at Santa in a chopper.

Story #3

Santa is going to be able to make his trip around the world in record time this year since he will be able to skip a 1.6 billion Chinese.  Christmas trees have been outlawed in public places because they pose a fire hazard.  Non-flammable freedom is also banned in China for some reason.

Story #4

Forgery is never a good idea, but forging letters from Santa, especially obscene letters from Santa, is probably a worse idea.  Though it’s damn funny, the author of these letters how has Dudley Do-Right on his tail.

Story #5

Naughty girls need love, too, but they shouldn’t try to get it from Santa, he’s married.  A 33 year old woman got a little too friendly for this Santa’s taste.  Though she is expected to find a 52″ plasma TV under her tree now.

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