Teddy Kennedy to get $8 million for his memoirs, Mary Jo Kopechne still dead.

Join me for a ride you'll never forget and I'll never remember.

Senator Edward Kennedy, or Teddy to his kids and bartenders, has sealed a deal for $8 million to write his autobiography.  Why would anyone pay him to write something about his life and family, a family that seemingly has had more books written about them than Mary, Joseph and their kid, Jesus?  Who knows?

We here are First Friday want to save you $35 bucks (we’re guessing) and just give you the Cliff Notes version now.

Chapter One: Born on Third Base, acted like he hit a triple.

Chapter Two: Screwed his way through school, had stuff handed to him.

Chapter Three: Brother is shot, other brother milks it for political gain.

Chapter Four: Other brother shot; he milks it for political gain.

Chapter Five: Had a little car crash, no biggie. Someone else may have been involved, but never mind.  (Shortest chapter in the book.)

Chapter Six: The 70’s?  Too drunk to remember any of it beyond a some wives and kids.

Chapter Seven: Magical nights at La Brasserie.

Chapter Eight: Ran for President, fender-bender comes back to haunt him.  Drops out, haunting ends (for him).

Chapter Nine: Decides to screw over country from Senate since White House is never going to happen.

Chapter Ten: Sells watered-down version of his life to book small publishing firm, shelters money in family trust fund to avoid death tax.

There, we just saved you cash.  You’re welcome.

Here is an ad Kennedy did for Obama.


6 Responses to “Teddy Kennedy to get $8 million for his memoirs, Mary Jo Kopechne still dead.”

  1. 2 Rumple
    August 29, 2009 at 12:15 pm

    Unfortunatly for Mary Jo..BUT that’s what delusional, Power Hungry Little Trollops get for Messing with much older Powerful Married men to begin with.Period.Se Tout..Se Finni.

    Aside from his VERY few Failings..”Let all Yea without Sin..Cast the first Stone”

    Or all YEA who have Faithfully spent 50 yrs.Serving his Country and Working Americans,of Both Pathetic ‘Parties’..Go look at your own Craven Image,in your Majical Cracked Mirror.

    Let the Man rest in Peace,and go admonish your own Dead…

    Who eveidently had no life guard on duty at your Gene Pool.Your own Mothers,probably in hind sight,wishes they’d all remained Virgins.

  2. 4 Rumple
    June 11, 2010 at 10:23 am

    Thank you..I just Love compliments from the Village Idiot.

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